There have been a lot of debates lately about abortion in cases of rape, and as someone who has actually lived through that reality, I wanted to share my perspective.
I was kidnapped, trafficked, and repeatedly raped for four years. During that time, I became pregnant with my daughter, and gave birth to her while I was in captivity.
People often ask me, “How could God allow something like that to happen?” It’s a fair question. I wrestled with that question myself.
But over the years, I’ve realized that many people blame God for the evil they see in this world while rarely acknowledging what the Bible actually teaches about the source of evil.
Jesus said,
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10) ✝️
The Bible doesn’t describe God as the author of rape, abuse, trafficking, or murder.
It tells us that Satan…the enemy…is the one who seeks to steal, kill, destroy, deceive, and keep people in bondage. (John 8:44; Revelation 12:9)
At the same time, people are accountable for the sinful choices they make. God does not tempt anyone with evil (James 1:13), and He hates wickedness (Psalm 5:4).
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is the difference between what God desires and what God allows in a fallen world.
God never desired for me to be trafficked.
God never desired for me to be raped.
Those were evil choices made by evil people under the influence of sin… NOT GOD.
But even in my darkest season… God was there too.
There were days I wondered if anyone knew where I was.
There were nights when silence felt louder than words.
Fear became familiar.
Pain became constant.
Hope felt impossible.
One of the greatest lies suffering whispers is, “God has abandoned you.”
I know that lie well.
I lived inside it.
Yet looking back now, I can honestly say it was exactly that… a lie.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) ✝️
I couldn’t always see Him.
I couldn’t always feel Him.
But He never left.
Then something happened that changed everything.
Right in the middle of darkness, God entrusted me with LIFE.
I became pregnant.
I gave birth to my beautiful daughter while I was still in captivity.
Think about that for a moment.
The place that was meant to destroy me became the place where I became a mother.
The enemy thought captivity would break me.
God placed purpose in my arms.
Every tiny kick reminded me that life was still growing.
Every heartbeat reminded me that hope was still alive.
The first time I held her, I knew I had been given a reason to keep fighting.
People often ask me how I survived.
The answer wasn’t my strength.
It was GOD’S.
I wasn’t holding myself together.
He was.
Joseph said,
“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” (Genesis 50:20) ✝️
Joseph wasn’t saying the evil was good.
He was saying God is greater than evil.
The cross itself is the greatest example.
The most evil act in history…the crucifixion of the sinless Son of God…became the very means by which God brought salvation to the world.
The same God who redeemed Joseph’s suffering redeemed mine.
Looking back now, I see His fingerprints everywhere.
Not because He caused the evil.
Because He never stopped carrying me through it.
I used to ask: “God… where were You?”
Now I ask: “How did You carry me through all of that without ever letting me go?”
Today, my daughter is one of the greatest blessings God has ever entrusted to me.
Would I ever say rape is good?
Absolutely not.
Would I erase my daughter’s life because of the evil committed against me? Never.
That doesn’t make the rape good.
It makes God incredibly good.
The enemy thought he was writing the final chapter of my life… He wasn’t.
He was only writing the introduction to my testimony.
I don’t share my story because I’m proud of what happened to me.
I share it because I’m proud of what God has done since.
Darkness doesn’t get the final word.
Jesus does.
If you’re interested in reading more about my story, I’ve attached the article Live Action wrote about my testimony, here!
And if you’re someone carrying wounds from your own past, I pray you know this:
You are not forgotten.
You are not alone.
You are not defined by what happened to you.
You are defined by the One who holds your future.
His name is Jesus.
🤍✝️
