You might feel like you’re the only single person left on the planet.
And you could probably imagine a number of reasons why that may be true:
- Every man I meet online is a loser, a liar, or a cheat.
- Men are intimidated by my success.
- There are no good men left!
All of that dating disappointment can take a toll; it’s understandable why you may feel like giving up.
But I hope you won’t. And here’s why: You’re not alone. And you haven’t got it all right, especially when it comes to successful online dating.
The problem with black-or-white statements—“There are no good men left!”—is that they are based on emotion, not logic. While sometimes partially true, they’re never wholly true. And they don’t have to be true for you!
- Not all men cheat.
- Not all men are intimidated by success.
- And there are plenty of great, single men out there.
And you can find one of those great men online.
Despite some early stigma, online dating is not only socially acceptable, it’s now a prevalent, popular way for men and women to meet their future partners:
- :: 40 million Americans use online dating
- :: 52.4% of online dating users are men
- :: 30% of all married couples met online
You greatly increase your chances of meeting your soulmate if you too are willing to give online dating a try.
Of course, as you probably already know, online dating isn’t the whole answer. You may have even tried it already and had just as much success—or lack thereof—as you have meeting someone in person.
That’s because the way you meet your soulmate doesn’t matter. If you haven’t yet found a great man online (or anywhere else), it’s not the dating apps that need to change, it’s not other people who need to change, it’s not even you who needs to change.
As I often say, it’s all in your head. Or rather, in your mind.
The key to successfully dating online is changing your mindset.
I call this successful mindset “Long-Term Optimism”. Sure, the odds that the man you swipe right on will probably not be your future husband. (Though, who knows?!)
But if you keep on dating, celebrating your wins and learning from your fails, making healthier and more empowered choices—well, the chances that you’ll eventually fall in love and get married are very, VERY high.
(And research backs that up!)
That’s not to say you shouldn’t be positive in the short-term either—just keep your short-term dating expectations “cautiously optimistic”. As long as you remember that 99% of the guys you meet are not going to be your husband, then you won’t get so upset and or be sidelined when 99% of your dates don’t work out.
At the same time, keep your long-term expectations for love radically high!
Practice saying this mantra daily for confidence:
“Finding love is 100% going to happen for me. It’s not if … it’s WHEN!”
In the short and long-term, keep your mindset realistic (remembering that black-or-white thinking is anything but!) and positive:
- Yes, some men lie and cheat, but just as many (if not more) are honest and faithful.
- Yes, there are many successful women that struggle in love, but many more find themselves in loving, long-term partnerships.
- Yes, online dating (and eventually marriage!) can be challenging, but millions of people make it work.
Whether you find your partner online or not, commit to finding and creating an experience of real love in (and for) the long-term in your mind now. Because finding radiant love is 100% going to happen for you—it’s not “if” …it’s when.
