But it’s not just organizations that need solid leaders. The most powerful place from which to lead is actually your own life.

When’s the last time you felt fully in control of your life—on top of your to-do’s, aligned with your goals, fulfilled in every area of life that’s most important to you?

This question isn’t meant to make you feel bad; it’s not easy (and not necessarily realistic) for you to be firing on all cylinders at all times. But it is important to remember that YOU are the one in control. This is your life, and you are in charge of making sure that it runs smoothly according to your own standards.

If you find yourself wondering how to get your life together and/or think you may still have a bit of work to do—and we all do at one point or another—these tips will help you in becoming the leader and taking control of your own life.

“5 Ways to Confidently Regain Control & “Get Your Life Together”

1. Set goals & dream bigger.

All great leaders set goals. They identify the milestones they want to reach, then create specific, actionable goals that will help them get there. Whether you’re leading a major corporation or leading your (even more majorly important!) life, you need to look into the future and decide where you want to go—then figure out how you’ll get there.

Set goals for yourself, based on where you want to be in six months, a year, and five years from now. And while it’s important to set goals that are fairly realistic, I also encourage you to dream big! Don’t limit yourself by what you’ve accomplished in the past. Stretch yourself a little bit further, allowing room for your inevitable growth. I think you’ll be amazed at the goals you can reach with a little clarity and the right steps to take!

2. Feel the fear but be courageous.

All great leaders have courage. That doesn’t mean they aren’t afraid of things, however. No, being courageous means that they have learned to overcome their fear and take big risks anyway.

Courage is a valuable skill to develop in your own life, too. Become more aware of the things that scare you—do you want to quit your job and start your own business? Do you want to ask the cute girl at the coffee shop on a date? Do you want to end a relationship that has lived long past its expiration date?

Whatever it is that may be scaring you—if it needs to be done, I encourage you to shore up the courage and do it! Once again, this is your life; no one will do the hard stuff for you. Lead with courage.

3. Learn from your mistakes (& forgive yourself).

All great leaders learn from their mistakes—because, let’s be honest, nobody is perfect. Even the most well-respected leaders in the world have fumbled, misspoken, and made errors in judgment.

What separates the great leaders from every other imperfect human is how they learned from and addressed their mistakes. And that’s another important point to remember—in your hopefully long, expansive life, you will likely mess up. Over and over and over again.

But it’s not the mess that defines you—it’s how you clean it up. Don’t berate yourself for making a mistake; take a step back, learn the lesson, and fix the mistake.

4. Maintain a student mindset.

All great leaders keep learning. They know that they don’t know it all, that they can’t know it all. If you want to become the leader of your own life, you should know that too.

Continue to read books, attend workshops, and take classes. Surround yourself with people who teach you, challenge you, and make you grow. Seek out information on new topics and continue asking questions.

There is so much information to be learned in this world—so much more than we’re even consciously aware of in this moment! Stay curious and learn as much as you teach.

5. Recognize and honor who you are.

All great leaders have self-respect. They know themselves intimately—through regular practices of self-awareness and self-reflection—and they honor their innate goodness, despite life’s challenges.

In order to be a truly great leader in your own life, you have to remember who you are (and who we all are) at your core: You are love. That may sound cheesy to you, but it’s true. And the sooner you recognize and honor that, the sooner you will find full trust in your own skills, capabilities, decisions—the sooner you will become the true leader of your own life.

We stress about work.

About bills.

About love (or our lack thereof).

We stress about those things we can control and those things we cannot. Stress, it seems, is a natural part of human life—but it doesn’t have to run your life. It doesn’t need to be enduring. We don’t have to just sit back and take it.

When you feel stress creeping into your life, there are steps you can take to come back to normal, to equilibrium, to peace. And they can be affordable, too! (Because getting a massage once a week isn’t always the most cost-effective solution!).

How to Calm Down (5 Free Ideas!)

1. Socialize Mindfully

Depending on your nature (extroverted, introverted, or somewhere in between), socializing can cause or reduce stress to varying degrees. But most agree that spending time with the right people is an energizing, rejuvenating experience.

If you fill your time and your mind with the company and conversation of people who nourish rather than drain you, you’re likely to feel better after seeing them. So take a careful look at your calendar and really consider what you’re saying “yes” to when you accept that next dinner invite.

2. Visualize Frequently

Visualization is a powerful process. When in a state of stress, try visualizing the way you’d rather feel: Perhaps you’d like to feel free, empowered, compassionate, peaceful? Visualize the state you desire, and watch as your mind and body begin to move into that state now.

Of course, visualizing won’t erase that looming deadline or bring your soulmate to your doorstep (or maybe it will, who knows?), but it will change your state—mentally, physically, emotionally—today so that you can start experiencing the feelings you’d rather have instead.

3. Breathe Deeply

It always comes back to the breath, doesn’t it? Your breath is your saving grace—literally. It keeps you alive!

But so often we restrict it, even if unconsciously. When we’re stressed, nervous or anxious, we hold our breath or breathe in short, shallow bursts. Make a mental note to yourself to breathe when you find yourself feeling stressed. Stop what you’re doing and breathe deeply—in through your nose, out through your mouth—for as long as you need to.

Not only will you find that your heart rate slows and the chatter of your mind tends to cease, you’ll also likely find greater clarity around whatever was vexing you and a newfound motivation to solve your stressors.

4. Exercise Daily

Without movement, stress lingers in the body. It hangs around far longer than it needs to—unless you take the (physical) steps to clear it out of your body.

The next time you’re stressed, try going for a run, doing some yoga, signing up for a spin class or simply taking a walk around the block. When you get your body moving, the stress can move through you, too.

Even better, make a daily habit of exercise so that stress never has the opportunity to stick around longer than necessary.

5. Bathe Indulgently

And when all else fails (though I promise the tips above won’t!), treat yourself. When the stress won’t abate, allow yourself the time and space to luxuriate.

You don’t need to head to the fanciest spa—though you’re welcome to! You can create a stress-free, relaxed, indulgent experience right from the comfort of your own bathtub. Water is healing and restorative, too. Just by spending some time submerged in the bath, you’ll come out feeling cleaner and fresher in body, mind, and spirit.

What is your favorite way to destress (for free)? Share your tips with us in the comments below!

On Day 3 of the 7 Ways to Prepare Your Home For New Love Challenge, we’re stepping inside of your office. We’re going to pay close attention to the place where you likely spend most of your waking hours, and get the most work done.

And though love is often associated with the color red, today we’re going GREEN.

Whether or not you have your own home office, work from a corporate office, or simply work from a tiny desk in the corner of your room, the fact remains that a lot of offices can be a little . . . well, stuffy.

Whether your space is big or little, requires a commute or is steps from your bedroom door – and whether or not you like the way your office is decorated, this is often the one room that lacks the most life. Literally.

So today we’re gonna breathe some freshness back into it!

Today’s Action Step:
Add life back to your office by accessorizing with plants.
Bonus points if the plant has heart-shaped leaves!

Houseplants are valuable for so many reasons beyond their beauty: they purify the air, they brighten up a room, they increase oxygen flow, and they reportedly even lower stress levels. No small feat for a little pot of leaves!

Plus, plants need to be taken care of—they should be watered, nourished, and spruced up from time to time. Taking care of your little potted friends will give you a sense of accomplishment and care even on days where it feels like nothing else on your to-do list is getting done!

Breathe some living, loving air back into your workspace—and invite new life (such as that of a soulmate partner) by adding literal life to the room. Let’s go green together!