We can and will do better! For joy is our natural inheritance and destiny. It is time for humanity, namely you in this case, to come home to the understanding of one’s power to manage, morph and mold one’s inner world to your advantage. “To one’s advantage” is a phrase that may sound manipulative to some, and yes, it is a kind of manipulation. In this case, in a very, very good way. You see, we are not a pawn or victim of life. No, you are royalty, grand and glorious, and it is appropriate that humanity, that’s you again, learn to become more mastery over one’s emotional feeling world.

For how can we truly ascend and graduate to an experience of greater inner and outer freedom, joy, expansion and peace without the clarity of being available to navigate and regulate our feelings with ease and grace? Yes, dear one, being in a powerful relationship with one’s emotions is entirely possible, and the next quantum leap for humanity. For at the moment, many on the planet don’t possess this dynamic with their feelings, therefore resulting in much inner chaos, which further creates outer chaos. Hence, the disorder we see in the world. There is not an individual who doesn’t, can’t, and will not impact the greater whole. Surely, after the recent health crisis you do see this, don’t you?  

For it’s most certainly true, there is nowhere the individual can go where they are not affected by another. The reality of our interconnectedness has never been so clear. An event in China quickly arrived at the world’s front door. An evident example of how not separate we are. Yet, let’s go back to you, for there is no expectation that you now go “out there” to save the world. Rather, know that the most significant gift we can provide the health and well being of humanity is to pay attention to and focus on developing one’s sense of freedom.  

Begin there. Begin at home and trust that self-love will stretch to every nook and corner of the planet! It could not not do so. Isn’t this just a glorious gift of inner knowing? As love, emotional relief and understanding is provided by you and for you one is saving the world! How’s that for a win/win resolution?

I’m imagining a casual yet purposeful walk about where we can discuss all things elation and freedom. Joy and abundance is our inheritance. Yet, we have not been properly taught how to best access that feeling state.

In a series of clear tips, tricks and steps, I will define a handful of the key practices for abundant living. Easy, straightforward and simple in nature, these tips are approachable. The only requirement is your heartfelt intention and practice. Yes, practice is the name of the game.

It is there.
It is there.
It is only right there. 

Similar to a mighty rocket ship set course for the moon, stars and entire galaxy, you are destined for new, fresh and abundant adventures of the heart and mind. You are not small, dear one. You are not weak, meek or inferior! We are born of gold dust, diamond pieces and the most fabulous sunsets across The Universe! You are made of god and goddess essence. There is no light that shines more bright than the light in you.

A million miles and more away the stars gaze at your sparkle and shine! They awe in the presence of your glimmer. Yet, sadly, we do not awe at the marvel and miracle of ourselves. It is in doubt and fear and self-discrimination and incrimination we hide in an illusion of disappointment and disrespect.

It is time to take our rightful, compassionate place on the throne of our own lives. No more “maybe getting by;” self-induced ridicule and hiding in the shadows of pettiness and fear. Rise, dear one, rise!

Yes, see the sun also rising on your commencement day! The all of Mother Nature yearns for us to realize the generous and gentle yet mighty power latent in ourselves. You see, this power is not something to go get, to invent, to take from anyone or anything. No, this power lies within already.

It waits
and it waits
and it patiently waits
for your awakening.

So awaken, loved one! Yes, look to the sky, the moon, the stars and so on. We all share the same DNA. Which is one of royalty, patience, compassion and love. There exists not another soul that can rise for us. The heart must be open and allowing, the mind, steady and graceful, the body, agile and prepared. We are ready, we are able, and we are being called to evolve past any soul-confusion and emerge as one’s grand and glorious self!  A crystal clear knowing of one’s inner divine and place among the divine.

It is time to clear the heart, mind and body of any insecurity. We begin in the feeling world with emotions, for it is in the mind and heart that the individual creates, learns and adopts pointless and petty storylines that unfortunately become an identity. Let’s strip away all the thinking that does not serve and only hinders greatness. The time to take flight with the strength of eagles’ wings is now.

This month we’ve been exploring what to do and how to BE when life doesn’t go according to plan. Our minds are determined to go in one direction but it seems like The Universe is forcing us to take another path. Nothing can feel more frustrating and inconvenient as when life doesn’t go the way we want it to go!

Yet, when the unexpected happens it’s our chance to practice unlocking the magic of mishappenings.

Mishappenings are magic because they give us the opportunity to see a bigger picture and be open to new possibilities in a way our thinking mind can not at times. When life doesn’t go according to plan we can choose to force our agenda, usually met with great resistance by life, OR we can choose to go with the flow, as they say.

Going with the flow means NOT forcing the mind-made plan but being open to whatever is happening in the present moment. Greeting it with open arms as if it were a ginormous gift.

Because IT IS A GIFT.
If you can relate to that mishappening as a gift rather than as a hassle you will find that with presence and patience the gift will unfold in front of you. It may be the person that can help you is standing on the extra long line. It’s time to take that nap you deeply need. The plans get cancelled–in a good way. You’ll see. If you look for the gift you will find the gift, and if you look for the hassle you will find the hassle.

I’d much rather the gift.
Please follow the below steps as a way to practice unlocking the magic hidden within mishappenings.

Unlocking the Magic of Mishappenings: Steps 1-6

1. Set the intention: “My intention is to go with the flow and recognize any hidden gifts or possibilities that are available to me.”

2. When something isn’t going according to plan, don’t panic.
Literally give yourself a command out loud. Say: “Stop, don’t panic.”

3. Say: “Ok, it’s time to just take a deep breath.” Then take a deep breath.

4. Remind yourself: “Mishappenings are not random and this can be good for me even though it’s not what I had planned.”

5. Daydream

6. Do Nothing

To help guide you through the process of unlocking the Magic of Mishappenings, I’ve also put together a free downloadable PDF of the recipe. Click the image or button below to access.

“Ahhh…why CAN’T everything always go the way I want it to go?” you might say.
And yes, while I can totally relate to the frustration, I’ve also been learning that The Universe usually knows what’s in my highest interest better than my ego does.

I might want to rush to work at 80 miles an hour and pick up my almond milk cappuccino in under 3 minutes BUT The Universe throws extra traffic my way and a long line at the coffee shop. WHY? Because I am too busy in the mind therefore too busy in my life to receive guidance. I need to slow the BLEEP down so I don’t get in an accident, and so that I can meet the person on line at the coffee shop who can solve my graphic design questions, for example.

When the unexpected happens it’s nature’s way of saying “You need to take a pause right now and stop panicking. Stop doing whatever your mind believes it needs to do.” Being interrupted in this way is often a gift from The Universe.

Meaning: Mishappenings give us the opportunity to practice being more flexible rather than so rigid about our plans and thoughts. When we are flexible in the mind and therefore in life it’s like opening an abundant energetic door. A door that allows in new possibilities we most likely haven’t seen before.

When you’re flexible enough to “go with the flow,” (not forcing your mind-made agenda) you can receive the answers you have been seeking even if this situation wasn’t part of your original plan.

I am sharing this recipe as mini-workshops so that one video is not too long, and it makes the learning and practicing more simplistic. In today’s video I’ll discuss steps 4-6.

Unlocking the Magic of Mishappenings: Steps 4-6

4. Remind yourself: Mishappenings are not random and this can be good for me even though it’s not what I had planned.

5. Daydream. If you are caught in traffic or on a long line, for example, use this moment to think about what you really enjoy in life or about today. Daydream about what would be fun to do in the future or later tonight. Put on music you like and zone out. Look around the room and notice what colors you like, what paintings you admire, read the coffee menu and look for something new to try that sounds delicious.

6. Sometimes there is nothing to do. Simply take a deep breath and allow yourself to relax. If you’re at home maybe just take a nap or stare out a window for a few minutes.

To help guide you through the process of unlocking the Magic of Mishappenings, I’ve also put together a free downloadabl PDF of the recipe. Click the image or button below to access.

I think it’s fair to say we’ve all experienced at least one, if not all, of these situations. And usually at a moment when we’ve deeply felt we “didn’t have time for this right now!”

Little else has felt more frustrating to me then in these moments when I’ve had a plan and agenda but life has decided not to cooperate. My mind is determined to go in one direction but somehow The Universe has it set up to force me in another direction!

I would feel interrupted and bothered when my plan didn’t go according to plan. Yes, I felt quite inconvenienced by these “blips” until I learned that mishappenings are always happening for a helpful reason!

When unexpected traffic happens or you discover a nail in your tire, for example, it can be nature’s way of saying “You need to take a pause right now and stop panicking. Stop doing whatever your mind believes it needs to do.” It is often a gift from The Universe to have a long line at the coffee shop, but of course it doesn’t seem like a gift because it seems more like a hassle.

Mishappenings give us the opportunity to practice being more flexible rather than so rigid about our plans and thoughts. When we are flexible in the mind, and therefore in life, it’s like opening an abundant energetic door. A door that allows in new possibilities we most likely haven’t seen before.

When you’re flexible enough to “go with the flow,” you can receive the answers you have been seeking even if this situation wasn’t part of your plan.“Go with the flow” means not forcing your agenda but rather being present to this moment. So much so that we recognize in the moment what is happening. For example: “Oh, I see that this is happening in a really good way. Even though it is not what I intended.” So maybe while you’re stuck on the long line you meet the person that can help you!

The small self wants to stay in control of what it wants to do and be. But life wants so much more for us than what the small self wants for us.

Practice unlocking the magic of mishappenings by following the below steps.

I am going to share this recipe in a series of mini-workshops so that one blog is not too long, and it makes the learning and practicing more simplistic. In today’s blog I’ll discuss steps 1-3.

Unlocking the Magic of Mishappenings: Steps 1-3

1. Set the intention: “My intention is to go with the flow and recognize any hidden gifts or possibilities that are available to me.”

2. When something isn’t going according to plan, don’t panic.
Literally give yourself a command out loud. Say: “Stop, don’t panic.”

3. Say: “Ok, it’s time to just take a deep breath.” Then take a deep breath.

To help guide you through the process of unlocking the Magic of Mishappenings, I’ve also put together a free downloadable PDF of the recipe. Click the Download button above to access.

I have been going through a lot of transition lately and have subsequently found that I’m attracting clients who are about 3 paces behind me in their own but highly similar transition.  This attraction is an interesting phenomenon and feels intensely on purpose. The magic of course is that I am often ahead by a few emotional miles and am able to offer not only empathetic but practical advice on how to move through with more flow and peace of mind.  (Thank you, Universe!)

I have been in varying life transitions before yet a significant lesson has recently come up for me that I have also been sharing with my clients.  I try to take cues from the energy around me and thought perhaps if both myself and my clients needed this reminder maybe you do too! When we are going through a transition of some sort it can feel very scary and anxiety fueled.  We tend to want to quickly rush through it and return to a perceived state of “normal.”

We want out of the discomfort.  Transitions can force us into a place of facing the traumas and self-limiting beliefs we are made of, and the new ones that continue to subconsciously shape us.  Quite simply it feels yucky to be in a place of emotional uncertainty and doubt and toe to toe with what we perceive is the worst in ourselves.  We reach for all sorts of unhealthy distractions: food, shopping, sex, alcohol, etc. rather than get curious. 

I am not implying it is easy, but I am encouraging you to slow down, harness patience and NOT to rush to “normal.”  Practice being in the present moment with the current ebbs and flows because, despite what it may seem, this time is very fertile soil.  It is rich with the opportunity to learn, expand and feel empowered. But only if you can be IN it.…and not in a rush to “just get it over with” and move past it.

This is not happening to you, it is happening for you.

You are smart,
capable and
powerful.

You more than deserve a big, full and abundant life.
It is meant for you as it is meant for all of us but up-leveling requires
the unequivocal willingness to be introspective.

I deeply believe in a higher energy that is rooting for us. (You too?)  If we can agree on this then we understand that everything that happens to us, even the panic-ridden, anxiety provoking, shitty stuff, happens for our benefit. We understand that below the superficial pain and whining of the ego, this experience/circumstance is happening for our and the world’s higher good.

If you understand this, then in times of stress and fear you ask yourself: 

:: What am I being called to learn here?
:: What is my assignment?
:: How could this be happening for my own good?

If you do not get an immediate answer, no worries. Just turn it over to that higher energy…and say:
“Please show me the problem so that it may be resolved.”
or  “I am willing to learn the lesson. Please show it to me.” 

I have personally been using the this mantra lately:

“I refuse to rush to normal. I know this is fertile soil. I am willing to learn.” 

I would love to hear your thoughts of this post and how you navigate and manage in times of transition.
Thank you so much for being here & I hope these words served you! xx

Life was not easily falling into place… life was not in flow.

I was doing all of the “right things”: I was living life the way I “successfully” had in the past; applying a similar formula for success. But I still felt so uneasy… as if I was pushing against a brick wall.

Everything I accomplished seemed only to come as the result of a lot of hard work, time, and exhaustion. Anything I wanted to achieve only seemed to happen through struggle.

I executed a new marketing plan.
I switched up my workout regimen.
I drank even more green juices.
I bought a handful of new crystals.

And none of it worked for me.

I still went to bed exhausted and woke up exhausted.
There was still a lack of flow in my business.
Less people were visiting my website every month.
I was easily annoyed in my mommy-ing duties.
I had to see my therapist more often than usual.

How to Change Your Mindset When Life is Hard

In time, I came to understand (or perhaps, remember) that what was happening on the outside must be a result of misalignment on the inside. I had to stop trying to resolve my external chaos and confusion with more and more external methods.

An energetic shift was needed, and I was determined to make it happen.

For five months after that, I worked closely with master numerologist, astrologer, and tarot card reader. (And can I just say, dear ones — if you only understood a fraction of our connection to the stars, the planets, and the Universe, you would never feel alone again? You would wholly and completely remember — as I did — that you… we ARE the Universe.)

Finally, in November, I began to tap into my Akashic Records — through a former client of mine no less!

Akashic Records:

“The Akashic Records are the energetic records of all souls about their past lives, the present lives, and possible future lives. Each soul has its Akashic Records, like a series of books with each book representing one lifetime. The Hall (or Library) of the Akashic Records is where all souls’ Akashic Records are stored energetically. In other words, the information is stored in the Akashic field (also called zero point field). The Akashic Records, however, are not a dry compilation of events. They also contain our collective wisdom. The Akashic Records are a great resource, but it’s only a resource. How you utilize it in your life is up to you.”

I understand that the Akashic Records can be a very “woo-woo”, and unconventional concept for many people, so absorb what you can and simply put the rest to the side. (Or not. Both choices are ok.)

Through the Akashic Records, I connected with my guides. The guides exist in the non-physical plane and each person, each soul, comes to the planet with a team of spirit guides that watch over them like guardian angels. These guides are ascended masters, angels, archangels, saints, ancestors, and more. As such, they speak as a collective, addressing themselves as “we”.

When I speak with guide, the channel, she closes her eyes, clears her mind and then my team speaks using her voice and body to share messages of inspiration and growth.  It is not scary or off putting at all! It is simply like speaking to a friend and it is very clear when they are talking to me and when Solera herself is speaking–there are clear differences in her tone, intentions and body language when the guides are teaching.  

The more I connected with my guides, and the deeper I went into my spiritual studies and understanding, the more my life seemed to fall apart. The old was dying, so the new — something so much grander — could be born.

What Life Falling Apart is Teaching Me

Through it all, I was (and still am) learning:

1.  How to recognize the purpose of life
2. Why we have problems and have to relate to them
3. Who is the self you think you are
4. The most peaceful, supportive and abundant perspective to hold daily
5. How to stop doing life the hard way & instead let life happen easily around you and for you
6. How to move through life with less resistance
7. The immense power of our thoughts and focus & how to command the mind’s energy
8. Where real and lasting joy comes from
9. How to manifest what I want while being aware of common manifesting mistakes
10. The nature of change, destruction, and “natural fire”
11. What it means to spiritually wake up
12. The true nature of goals, planning, & where the deeper sense of meaning we all crave comes from
13. The reality about money and the material world
14. The #1 formula to follow for maximal abundance, ease, and flow
15. How to change my mind

. . . just to name a few.

And I want to share it all with you.
It’s too much for today. But over time I will share all that is being taught to me in the hopes that all that no longer serves you will be taken away as well.

I pray that what I share will strip you of:

1. Fear
2. Misunderstanding
3. Misperception
4. Anxiety
5. Loneliness
6. Pressure to be more or less
7. Narrow-mindedness
8. Restriction
9. The need to prove yourself worthy

. . . and the myriad forms of pain and suffering that consume the majority of your thoughts, and therefore, your life.

I know this is different from how I’ve taught before; how I’ve lived before.  How will you know if you can rely on and trust my words, suggestions and shared experiences?

You will know because it will resonate and make sense to you. You will hear an internal “yes.”

The truth is always very straightforward this way.

Until next time.
I love you so.

TT

These are the words that I (rather melodramatically) whisper-shouted a few days ago while pawing through my bathroom cabinets. After a 16-hour work day and ages stuck in traffic, I’d officially reached that overtired, non-rational emotional state where just about anything will push you over the edge.

And in this case? It was the discovery that I was out of toothpaste.

Which was obviously the end of the world and probably a direct result of some failure on my part and indicative of my value as a human being.

But I eventually unearthed a tiny travel sized tube of toothpaste, brushed my pearly whites, and lived to blog another day. Close call, right?

Bad moods happen to the best of us, but they don’t have to derail your day or infect your relationships. Really!  Here are 36 of my favorite ways to get out of a funk – and stop sniffling over toothpaste.

1. Start the flow of positive energy – do something good for someone else!
Maybe that’s popping quarters in an expired parking meter or just holding the door.

2. Do as many jumping jacks as you can

3. Play your favorite music super loud. Sing off key – at the top of your lungs
How off key can you get? Have a one-person dance party in front of the mirror, in your pajamas! (PS. This is one of my all-time favorite things to do when I’m stressed out.)

4. Indulge in your “guilty pleasures”  
Maybe that’s chocolate cake, back to back episodes of The Housewives of Beverly Hills, cheese and a stack of US Weekly magazines. Of course, these are guilty pleasures because we only do them once in a while.

5. Call a good friend and ask them out to dinner or a slumber party
A good friend – and a nice plate of pasta – can lift your spirits like no other.

6. Stay up till sunrise watching your favorite movies
Best to do this on a Friday or Saturday night (or you’ll be doomed to another grumpy, sleep-deprived day at work)

7. Yoga. Any kind!
Restorative, power flow or kundalini are my favorites.

8. Write a list of things that you appreciate right now
Focus intently on each of them and let the light build up inside you. Even on our worst of days, there are always things to be happy about.

9. Look through old photos – with a close friend or family member if possible.
These people can really dig into reminiscing about the good ol’ days. “Oh my god, remember when I used to wear my hair like that?!”

10. Plan your next vacation!
Start a vacation board on Pinterest. Grab a handful of travel magazines from the newsstand and give yourself over to daydreaming about all the adventures to be had. Book the flight, invite your best friends.

11. Remember the best kiss you ever had
Was it on a boardwalk in the rain? In the basement of your friend’s house? On a beach somewhere?

12. Go on an invigorating hike or walk. Surrender & breathe deep.
Few things are as healing as fresh air.

13. Plan a themed party!
Invite all your good friends and some new people, too! Think about how you can decorate your home in that theme, what dishes you can cook, what you will wear.

14. Try rock climbing
It’s an amazing workout and you’ll be so, so proud of yourself when you get to the top!

15. Load up your ipod with new music go for a walk through your favorite park or city streets.
Pretend this music is the soundtrack to the movie of your life.

16. Get dressed up and take yourself out to a fancy lunch or dinner
Pull that stylish black number out of the closet and make reservations at the buzzy new restaurant everyone is talking about.

17. Color your hair!  
You can always change it back.

18. Make cartoon shaped pancakes for breakfast
Top them with your favorite fruit and maybe some organic whipped cream!

19. Buy ridiculous pajamas
I personally have a ridiculous sock collection full of polka dots, stripes, cartoon characters, and reindeer. They make me happy every time I wear them!

20. Lie on your back in the sunshine  
Take a deep breath and smile.

21. Make a list of actionable, practical, reasonable ways you can improve your situation
Who can you talk to? What changes can you make?

22. Hug the friends you see today hello

23. Sleep the opposite way or sideways on your bed
Whenever I do this I feel like such a rogue!

24. Visit a favorite arts and craft store and make a friend a surprise package
Doing things for others – especially unexpected things – always improves my mood.

25. Chocolate.

26. Be optimistic and feel empowered
Search for the silver lining or a way that you can take ownership of your current situation.

27. Change the screensavers on your phone and laptop
What about a photo of your friends laughing hysterically or an image that just makes you smile?  I have a picture of my new, giggling niece and it thrills me every time I see it.

28. Spend an hour in a favorite department store smelling and sampling perfumes or cologne. 
When you find something you like, ask for a sample, tuck it in your pocket and use it for the next week.

29. Write a letter to your future self
Hide it somewhere you may forget – an old book, photo album, pocket of a rain coat. It will be a welcome surprise when you discover it years from now!

30. You know that exciting, overwhelming project you’ve been putting off?
Welp, now’s the time to throw yourself into it. It’s good if it feels a tad too big for you! It will be the fuel to your fire for weeks and months to come!

31. Walk around a vintage record or clothing shop
Imagine all the lives and memories these objects have seen.

32. Spend two hours watching the Biography Channel

33. Flirt
(Innocently) with the barista, the FedEx person, the front desk cutie.

34. Be interested
“Where did you get that?” “How did you learn how to do that?”

35. Be interesting
“Oh, didn’t I ever tell you about the time I hiked Kilimanjaro?”

36. Know that this too shall pass
Really. In a year, you’ll look back and wonder what the fuss was.

Climbing up and out of a bad mood is a life skill we should all master. And it can be as easy as laying in the sunshine or giving a real, deep hug. Promise.

But it’s not just organizations that need solid leaders. The most powerful place from which to lead is actually your own life.

When’s the last time you felt fully in control of your life—on top of your to-do’s, aligned with your goals, fulfilled in every area of life that’s most important to you?

This question isn’t meant to make you feel bad; it’s not easy (and not necessarily realistic) for you to be firing on all cylinders at all times. But it is important to remember that YOU are the one in control. This is your life, and you are in charge of making sure that it runs smoothly according to your own standards.

If you find yourself wondering how to get your life together and/or think you may still have a bit of work to do—and we all do at one point or another—these tips will help you in becoming the leader and taking control of your own life.

“5 Ways to Confidently Regain Control & “Get Your Life Together”

1. Set goals & dream bigger.

All great leaders set goals. They identify the milestones they want to reach, then create specific, actionable goals that will help them get there. Whether you’re leading a major corporation or leading your (even more majorly important!) life, you need to look into the future and decide where you want to go—then figure out how you’ll get there.

Set goals for yourself, based on where you want to be in six months, a year, and five years from now. And while it’s important to set goals that are fairly realistic, I also encourage you to dream big! Don’t limit yourself by what you’ve accomplished in the past. Stretch yourself a little bit further, allowing room for your inevitable growth. I think you’ll be amazed at the goals you can reach with a little clarity and the right steps to take!

2. Feel the fear but be courageous.

All great leaders have courage. That doesn’t mean they aren’t afraid of things, however. No, being courageous means that they have learned to overcome their fear and take big risks anyway.

Courage is a valuable skill to develop in your own life, too. Become more aware of the things that scare you—do you want to quit your job and start your own business? Do you want to ask the cute girl at the coffee shop on a date? Do you want to end a relationship that has lived long past its expiration date?

Whatever it is that may be scaring you—if it needs to be done, I encourage you to shore up the courage and do it! Once again, this is your life; no one will do the hard stuff for you. Lead with courage.

3. Learn from your mistakes (& forgive yourself).

All great leaders learn from their mistakes—because, let’s be honest, nobody is perfect. Even the most well-respected leaders in the world have fumbled, misspoken, and made errors in judgment.

What separates the great leaders from every other imperfect human is how they learned from and addressed their mistakes. And that’s another important point to remember—in your hopefully long, expansive life, you will likely mess up. Over and over and over again.

But it’s not the mess that defines you—it’s how you clean it up. Don’t berate yourself for making a mistake; take a step back, learn the lesson, and fix the mistake.

4. Maintain a student mindset.

All great leaders keep learning. They know that they don’t know it all, that they can’t know it all. If you want to become the leader of your own life, you should know that too.

Continue to read books, attend workshops, and take classes. Surround yourself with people who teach you, challenge you, and make you grow. Seek out information on new topics and continue asking questions.

There is so much information to be learned in this world—so much more than we’re even consciously aware of in this moment! Stay curious and learn as much as you teach.

5. Recognize and honor who you are.

All great leaders have self-respect. They know themselves intimately—through regular practices of self-awareness and self-reflection—and they honor their innate goodness, despite life’s challenges.

In order to be a truly great leader in your own life, you have to remember who you are (and who we all are) at your core: You are love. That may sound cheesy to you, but it’s true. And the sooner you recognize and honor that, the sooner you will find full trust in your own skills, capabilities, decisions—the sooner you will become the true leader of your own life.

We stress about work.

About bills.

About love (or our lack thereof).

We stress about those things we can control and those things we cannot. Stress, it seems, is a natural part of human life—but it doesn’t have to run your life. It doesn’t need to be enduring. We don’t have to just sit back and take it.

When you feel stress creeping into your life, there are steps you can take to come back to normal, to equilibrium, to peace. And they can be affordable, too! (Because getting a massage once a week isn’t always the most cost-effective solution!).

How to Calm Down (5 Free Ideas!)

1. Socialize Mindfully

Depending on your nature (extroverted, introverted, or somewhere in between), socializing can cause or reduce stress to varying degrees. But most agree that spending time with the right people is an energizing, rejuvenating experience.

If you fill your time and your mind with the company and conversation of people who nourish rather than drain you, you’re likely to feel better after seeing them. So take a careful look at your calendar and really consider what you’re saying “yes” to when you accept that next dinner invite.

2. Visualize Frequently

Visualization is a powerful process. When in a state of stress, try visualizing the way you’d rather feel: Perhaps you’d like to feel free, empowered, compassionate, peaceful? Visualize the state you desire, and watch as your mind and body begin to move into that state now.

Of course, visualizing won’t erase that looming deadline or bring your soulmate to your doorstep (or maybe it will, who knows?), but it will change your state—mentally, physically, emotionally—today so that you can start experiencing the feelings you’d rather have instead.

3. Breathe Deeply

It always comes back to the breath, doesn’t it? Your breath is your saving grace—literally. It keeps you alive!

But so often we restrict it, even if unconsciously. When we’re stressed, nervous or anxious, we hold our breath or breathe in short, shallow bursts. Make a mental note to yourself to breathe when you find yourself feeling stressed. Stop what you’re doing and breathe deeply—in through your nose, out through your mouth—for as long as you need to.

Not only will you find that your heart rate slows and the chatter of your mind tends to cease, you’ll also likely find greater clarity around whatever was vexing you and a newfound motivation to solve your stressors.

4. Exercise Daily

Without movement, stress lingers in the body. It hangs around far longer than it needs to—unless you take the (physical) steps to clear it out of your body.

The next time you’re stressed, try going for a run, doing some yoga, signing up for a spin class or simply taking a walk around the block. When you get your body moving, the stress can move through you, too.

Even better, make a daily habit of exercise so that stress never has the opportunity to stick around longer than necessary.

5. Bathe Indulgently

And when all else fails (though I promise the tips above won’t!), treat yourself. When the stress won’t abate, allow yourself the time and space to luxuriate.

You don’t need to head to the fanciest spa—though you’re welcome to! You can create a stress-free, relaxed, indulgent experience right from the comfort of your own bathtub. Water is healing and restorative, too. Just by spending some time submerged in the bath, you’ll come out feeling cleaner and fresher in body, mind, and spirit.

What is your favorite way to destress (for free)? Share your tips with us in the comments below!

• You say you’re ready for love, but you’re only attracted to emotionally unavailable men.
• You want a better work-life balance, but you insist you need to work longer hours to advance your career.
• You want to have a healthier relationship to your body, but you can’t give up the excessive cocktails.

As much as you claim to know what you want, you’re “stuck” in a frustrating cycle of bad habits that not only keep you from reaching your goals — but creates the same feelings of deep dissatisfaction and lack over and over again.

Your behaviors — and those painful cycles — are a result of your unconscious patterns and conditioning; those scarcity minded scripts playing in the background of your mind that are clearly running your life!

Whether you want to attract an available new love interest or balance a successful career with a fulfilling life or simply want to gain more self-confidence, you have to get clear on (and break) the low-vibe energy patterns running behind the scenes of your life and practice making different, more empowering choices.

It can be a life-changing relief to finally discover the connection between the actions you’re taking and the results you’re getting in life. Once that connection is revealed, you’re back in charge — you can make conscious choices and take deliberate action to break the disappointing cycle you’re in and start living in a way that best serves you.

Of course, becoming aware of your dis-empowering scripts and actions — then making the choice to not repeat them any longer — is only part of your healing and transformation.

If you want to break a frustrating cycle, you have to actually STOP doing the exact same thing (taking the same action) while expecting different results.

You have to try something new, in alignment with your new intentions and a different choice.

Easier said than done, you say? Trust me — it’s not that hard to do.

How to Break Bad Habits with Meaningful Rituals

There are many ways to “practice” your new choice on a daily basis: You could meditate on your intention every morning, you might post written notes of your intention around your home, you could set a phone alarm to go off throughout the day reminding you of your heart’s desire.

And you could kick it all off with a ritual — a heart-centering, meaningful ceremony to acknowledge the cycle you’ve broken and honor your fresh outlook on a previously difficult situation.

You don’t need to be religious or New Age or woo-woo to participate in a ritual, I promise:

:: Your ritual could be as simple as writing down what you are ready to let go of and burning it in the kitchen sink.

:: Your ritual could be holding specific crystals while repeating your soul’s secret prayers and intentions over and over again.

:: Your ritual could be the lighting of a single candle on Sunday evenings and saying to yourself: “This is the week that I…….”

All you need is to be open to the transformation, and committed to breaking your bad habits.

Now, do you have to have a ritual? Of course not. You can simply make an internal choice to do things differently, practice a new way of living, and be done with it.

But ritual allows you the possibility of connecting with the soul and heart of all things . . . and of all life. The outcome can’t be seen only measured by the sensation of a nourished heart.

And what outcome could be better than that?

Try This Guided Ritual to Create New Habits & Break Old Patterns

You will need: 15-20 minutes, a candle, matches, and a quiet space.

1| Write a List: List your conditioning, your stories, your patterns, your beliefs — whatever you choose to release, because it’s no longer necessary or no longer yours to hold.

2| Ask Yourself: What if any patterns am I ready to release from my life?

3| Make a Statement: Be clear about the cycle you’re breaking and acknowledge the beliefs and behaviors that will support your new choice. You might say:

“I am willing to lower my guard and risk being vulnerable in love. I will stop withholding myself in relationship for fear that he might leave if he sees the true ‘messy’ me. I deeply believe the unfiltered me is lovable and immensely desirable. Let the lighting of this candle give me the strength, courage, and compassion to claim my potency and be fully transparent in love.”

OR

“I must be willing to give up controlling and scheming everything and everyone, even though that leaves me vulnerable and I risk not getting what I think I want. I am willing to be courageous and stop relying on manipulation and my own strength to achieve. I now understand that the Universe is hard at work for me, loving me and serving me. Let the lighting of this candle give me the faith, stability, and wisdom to relinquish (at least some) control and allow myself to fall back into the flow of life — to be held, supported, and given to generously while growing my capacity to trust life and delight in the unexpected just around the corner!”

Ritual is an external reflection of something sacred that is occurring deep within. It marks a transition that has happened, is happening, or that you would like to invite more fully into your experience.

Your cycles don’t have to be vicious, and they don’t have to keep you stuck. Are you ready to break the cycle and honor your commitment with a ritual?

It’s time to mark the end of your cycle and the beginning of a brand new, better way of life.