Yes, please do play, create and experiment with each elixir and tea infusion as you practice the steps within the emotional recipes. They are the perfect complement to one another, encompassing the exact same emotional and vibrational frequency. The design and formulation is the perfect partner to the inner work.

You are pure joy; never ending joy. Raise your own frequency and vibration through these pairings with intention, ease and elation.

Download your free Magic of Mishappenings Elixir Recipe above.

I think it’s fair to say we’ve all experienced at least one, if not all, of these situations. And usually at a moment when we’ve deeply felt we “didn’t have time for this right now!”

Little else has felt more frustrating to me then in these moments when I’ve had a plan and agenda but life has decided not to cooperate. My mind is determined to go in one direction but somehow The Universe has it set up to force me in another direction!

I would feel interrupted and bothered when my plan didn’t go according to plan. Yes, I felt quite inconvenienced by these “blips” until I learned that mishappenings are always happening for a helpful reason!

When unexpected traffic happens or you discover a nail in your tire, for example, it can be nature’s way of saying “You need to take a pause right now and stop panicking. Stop doing whatever your mind believes it needs to do.” It is often a gift from The Universe to have a long line at the coffee shop, but of course it doesn’t seem like a gift because it seems more like a hassle.

Mishappenings give us the opportunity to practice being more flexible rather than so rigid about our plans and thoughts. When we are flexible in the mind, and therefore in life, it’s like opening an abundant energetic door. A door that allows in new possibilities we most likely haven’t seen before.

When you’re flexible enough to “go with the flow,” you can receive the answers you have been seeking even if this situation wasn’t part of your plan.“Go with the flow” means not forcing your agenda but rather being present to this moment. So much so that we recognize in the moment what is happening. For example: “Oh, I see that this is happening in a really good way. Even though it is not what I intended.” So maybe while you’re stuck on the long line you meet the person that can help you!

The small self wants to stay in control of what it wants to do and be. But life wants so much more for us than what the small self wants for us.

Practice unlocking the magic of mishappenings by following the below steps.

I am going to share this recipe in a series of mini-workshops so that one blog is not too long, and it makes the learning and practicing more simplistic. In today’s blog I’ll discuss steps 1-3.

Unlocking the Magic of Mishappenings: Steps 1-3

1. Set the intention: “My intention is to go with the flow and recognize any hidden gifts or possibilities that are available to me.”

2. When something isn’t going according to plan, don’t panic.
Literally give yourself a command out loud. Say: “Stop, don’t panic.”

3. Say: “Ok, it’s time to just take a deep breath.” Then take a deep breath.

To help guide you through the process of unlocking the Magic of Mishappenings, I’ve also put together a free downloadable PDF of the recipe. Click the Download button above to access.

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Life was not easily falling into place… life was not in flow.

I was doing all of the “right things”: I was living life the way I “successfully” had in the past; applying a similar formula for success. But I still felt so uneasy… as if I was pushing against a brick wall.

Everything I accomplished seemed only to come as the result of a lot of hard work, time, and exhaustion. Anything I wanted to achieve only seemed to happen through struggle.

I executed a new marketing plan.
I switched up my workout regimen.
I drank even more green juices.
I bought a handful of new crystals.

And none of it worked for me.

I still went to bed exhausted and woke up exhausted.
There was still a lack of flow in my business.
Less people were visiting my website every month.
I was easily annoyed in my mommy-ing duties.
I had to see my therapist more often than usual.

How to Change Your Mindset When Life is Hard

In time, I came to understand (or perhaps, remember) that what was happening on the outside must be a result of misalignment on the inside. I had to stop trying to resolve my external chaos and confusion with more and more external methods.

An energetic shift was needed, and I was determined to make it happen.

For five months after that, I worked closely with master numerologist, astrologer, and tarot card reader. (And can I just say, dear ones — if you only understood a fraction of our connection to the stars, the planets, and the Universe, you would never feel alone again? You would wholly and completely remember — as I did — that you… we ARE the Universe.)

Finally, in November, I began to tap into my Akashic Records — through a former client of mine no less!

Akashic Records:

“The Akashic Records are the energetic records of all souls about their past lives, the present lives, and possible future lives. Each soul has its Akashic Records, like a series of books with each book representing one lifetime. The Hall (or Library) of the Akashic Records is where all souls’ Akashic Records are stored energetically. In other words, the information is stored in the Akashic field (also called zero point field). The Akashic Records, however, are not a dry compilation of events. They also contain our collective wisdom. The Akashic Records are a great resource, but it’s only a resource. How you utilize it in your life is up to you.”

I understand that the Akashic Records can be a very “woo-woo”, and unconventional concept for many people, so absorb what you can and simply put the rest to the side. (Or not. Both choices are ok.)

Through the Akashic Records, I connected with my guides. The guides exist in the non-physical plane and each person, each soul, comes to the planet with a team of spirit guides that watch over them like guardian angels. These guides are ascended masters, angels, archangels, saints, ancestors, and more. As such, they speak as a collective, addressing themselves as “we”.

When I speak with guide, the channel, she closes her eyes, clears her mind and then my team speaks using her voice and body to share messages of inspiration and growth.  It is not scary or off putting at all! It is simply like speaking to a friend and it is very clear when they are talking to me and when Solera herself is speaking–there are clear differences in her tone, intentions and body language when the guides are teaching.  

The more I connected with my guides, and the deeper I went into my spiritual studies and understanding, the more my life seemed to fall apart. The old was dying, so the new — something so much grander — could be born.

What Life Falling Apart is Teaching Me

Through it all, I was (and still am) learning:

1.  How to recognize the purpose of life
2. Why we have problems and have to relate to them
3. Who is the self you think you are
4. The most peaceful, supportive and abundant perspective to hold daily
5. How to stop doing life the hard way & instead let life happen easily around you and for you
6. How to move through life with less resistance
7. The immense power of our thoughts and focus & how to command the mind’s energy
8. Where real and lasting joy comes from
9. How to manifest what I want while being aware of common manifesting mistakes
10. The nature of change, destruction, and “natural fire”
11. What it means to spiritually wake up
12. The true nature of goals, planning, & where the deeper sense of meaning we all crave comes from
13. The reality about money and the material world
14. The #1 formula to follow for maximal abundance, ease, and flow
15. How to change my mind

. . . just to name a few.

And I want to share it all with you.
It’s too much for today. But over time I will share all that is being taught to me in the hopes that all that no longer serves you will be taken away as well.

I pray that what I share will strip you of:

1. Fear
2. Misunderstanding
3. Misperception
4. Anxiety
5. Loneliness
6. Pressure to be more or less
7. Narrow-mindedness
8. Restriction
9. The need to prove yourself worthy

. . . and the myriad forms of pain and suffering that consume the majority of your thoughts, and therefore, your life.

I know this is different from how I’ve taught before; how I’ve lived before.  How will you know if you can rely on and trust my words, suggestions and shared experiences?

You will know because it will resonate and make sense to you. You will hear an internal “yes.”

The truth is always very straightforward this way.

Until next time.
I love you so.

TT

That’s what I want to help you work on today.

Because if you’re reading here, I’m sure you’ve wondered: “Why am I the one who has to do all the work in my relationships?” Or maybe you’ve read countless books and attended even more seminars and workshops to improve your love life.

I feel you. I see you. And I so understand and empathize with the work you’ve put in.

Today I’m here to help you change the only thing you can: how you develop (and protect) your heart and mind from the get-go. And that means recognizing and understanding emotionally unavailable men from the start.

3 Traits to Know About Emotionally Distant Men

1.Emotionally unavailable men can be good men—AND still not be available.

This is an important point to start with, because I want to be clear that we are not demonizing emotionally unavailable men. They’re not all jerks and they don’t all hate love. They could very well just be clear that they don’t want to be in a relationship. Being simultaneously single and “off the market” only means that they are not serious about falling in love at this point—but that doesn’t make them bad guys.

2.Emotionally unavailable men can have positive traits too.

And you need to ignore them. Yes, they can be charming and sensitive and great communicators too—but if they don’t want to be your boyfriend, none of those qualities matter! (And, by the way, there are emotionally available men who have positive qualities, too!) With the emotionally unavailable sort, you need to ignore the positives and believe the negative traits for what they are: an indication that there is no long-term romantic future with this person.

3.Emotionally unavailable men aren’t the only ones at fault.

It’s not hard to spot an emotionally unavailable man: they’re non-committal and they go silent whenever they want. And sure, that behavior is on them, but it’s also your responsibility to read the signs. And furthermore, many men will be very honest and explicit about their intentions in dating you—they will say honestly that they’re not looking for a relationship. It’s your responsibility to take them at their word and not assume that you can “change their mind.” Respect their choice and their forthrightness and move on.

* * *

It’s not in your power to change an emotionally unavailable man; he has to be inspired to do that on his own. But you can focus on what is in your control: your tolerance for his lack of devotion or commitment.

Start by paying attention to his actions:

• If he is not not claiming you as his girlfriend . . .
• If there are substantial periods of silence in between dates . . .
• If he actually said: “I’m not looking for anything serious right now” . . .

. . . then he is unavailable. No matter how nice, attractive, successful, or funny he is—he is emotionally unavailable and you’re wasting your time.

But you don’t have to. Keep your heart open—but keep your eyes open too. Look for these signs and cut your losses when you see them.

You deserve to be in a fulfilling partnership where you’re both available for long-term love.

I’m talking to a client who has recently broken up with an amazing guy who worshiped the ground she floated over.

“Why did you walk away from him?”

“I don’t know, ” she said mystified and withdrawn.

“Could it be because you were afraid of having what you wanted?”  I offered.

Lightbulb.

Yes, that’s it.

Self sabotage is a bitch.
And she’ll cost you.

We reach for self sabotage when we fear our own empowerment.

Why?

Why?
Change can = pain.

So why push forward any.way. you can?
Because it’s worth it.

Know with every fiber of your being that what you want the most: the relationship, the career, the body, the chance– all lie on the other side of your willingness to change.

1. Analyze your motivations; get curious.
   
2. Why are you afraid to have what you want most?
   
3. Why are you NOT leaning in?
   
4. Curiosity packs the power to move you forward.
   
5. Let it.

Refuse and the long term pain of  sabotage has the potential to dismantle you. To rob you of who you seek to be;  of where you aspire to ascend to.

Self-sabotage will snatch from your clutches:

• relationships
• excellence
• carerrs
• progress
• body
• purpose
• confidence
• home
• curiosity
• dedication
• clarity
• cash flow
• kindness
• equilibrium
• communication
• aspiration
• commitment
• regard
• connection

How to stop self-sabotage in it’s tracks:

1. When you feel yourself edging out of your comfort zone (and then panicking and wanting to return to The Known), take a deep breath and remember: you’re not going to die.
2. When you find yourself engaging in sabotaging behavior – dating ‘Bad Boys,’ skipping the gym, missing deadlines, not returning the call, email, text – ask yourself “Is this getting me closer to where I want to go?”
3. When you’re avoiding The Hard Work you have to do to get where you want to go – the tough conversations, the long hours, the early morning workouts – say “I love myself enough to do this.”
4. Shelve your fear, loosen your shackles and desire a life of satisfaction
   more than you begrudge change; more than the pain of discovery
   and the responsibility of awareness.
5. And then act.

But it’s not just organizations that need solid leaders. The most powerful place from which to lead is actually your own life.

When’s the last time you felt fully in control of your life—on top of your to-do’s, aligned with your goals, fulfilled in every area of life that’s most important to you?

This question isn’t meant to make you feel bad; it’s not easy (and not necessarily realistic) for you to be firing on all cylinders at all times. But it is important to remember that YOU are the one in control. This is your life, and you are in charge of making sure that it runs smoothly according to your own standards.

If you find yourself wondering how to get your life together and/or think you may still have a bit of work to do—and we all do at one point or another—these tips will help you in becoming the leader and taking control of your own life.

“5 Ways to Confidently Regain Control & “Get Your Life Together”

1. Set goals & dream bigger.

All great leaders set goals. They identify the milestones they want to reach, then create specific, actionable goals that will help them get there. Whether you’re leading a major corporation or leading your (even more majorly important!) life, you need to look into the future and decide where you want to go—then figure out how you’ll get there.

Set goals for yourself, based on where you want to be in six months, a year, and five years from now. And while it’s important to set goals that are fairly realistic, I also encourage you to dream big! Don’t limit yourself by what you’ve accomplished in the past. Stretch yourself a little bit further, allowing room for your inevitable growth. I think you’ll be amazed at the goals you can reach with a little clarity and the right steps to take!

2. Feel the fear but be courageous.

All great leaders have courage. That doesn’t mean they aren’t afraid of things, however. No, being courageous means that they have learned to overcome their fear and take big risks anyway.

Courage is a valuable skill to develop in your own life, too. Become more aware of the things that scare you—do you want to quit your job and start your own business? Do you want to ask the cute girl at the coffee shop on a date? Do you want to end a relationship that has lived long past its expiration date?

Whatever it is that may be scaring you—if it needs to be done, I encourage you to shore up the courage and do it! Once again, this is your life; no one will do the hard stuff for you. Lead with courage.

3. Learn from your mistakes (& forgive yourself).

All great leaders learn from their mistakes—because, let’s be honest, nobody is perfect. Even the most well-respected leaders in the world have fumbled, misspoken, and made errors in judgment.

What separates the great leaders from every other imperfect human is how they learned from and addressed their mistakes. And that’s another important point to remember—in your hopefully long, expansive life, you will likely mess up. Over and over and over again.

But it’s not the mess that defines you—it’s how you clean it up. Don’t berate yourself for making a mistake; take a step back, learn the lesson, and fix the mistake.

4. Maintain a student mindset.

All great leaders keep learning. They know that they don’t know it all, that they can’t know it all. If you want to become the leader of your own life, you should know that too.

Continue to read books, attend workshops, and take classes. Surround yourself with people who teach you, challenge you, and make you grow. Seek out information on new topics and continue asking questions.

There is so much information to be learned in this world—so much more than we’re even consciously aware of in this moment! Stay curious and learn as much as you teach.

5. Recognize and honor who you are.

All great leaders have self-respect. They know themselves intimately—through regular practices of self-awareness and self-reflection—and they honor their innate goodness, despite life’s challenges.

In order to be a truly great leader in your own life, you have to remember who you are (and who we all are) at your core: You are love. That may sound cheesy to you, but it’s true. And the sooner you recognize and honor that, the sooner you will find full trust in your own skills, capabilities, decisions—the sooner you will become the true leader of your own life.

No matter who you are, I’d venture to guess that statement is true for you.

Sometimes that fast-paced fullness can feel exhilarating — even fun! — but on a consistent basis, it feels more like stress. And that stress can cause some pretty intense and challenging emotions like anger, anxiety, fear, and loneliness just to name a few.

This consistent hum of background stress is a powerful force in our lives.

It affects your ability to move on and properly process your feelings—a process required to live through and let go of past and present disappointments in the healthiest, most peaceful way possible.

But there’s good news: While life will most likely always be fast-paced and full, it doesn’t have to be rough. You can naturally stop anxiety.

The key to transcending these overwhelming emotions is the key to most of life’s problems: mindfulness. Practicing mindfulness enables you to calm stress and soothe yourself.

In a state of mindfulness, you make space to step back, reflect, and thoughtfully respond — rather than spontaneously react — to the varying ups and downs of life.

Blending the science of psychology and the magic of spirituality, I’ve developed six steps to help you acknowledge, understand, and transform worrisome emotions in a mindful way.

By following the steps below, you’ll be able to more easily let go of what no longer serves you and move on to greater compassion, confidence and harmony.

6 Ideas for How to Stop Anxiety Mindfully

1. Accept Your Emotions

We stress about work.

About bills.

About love (or our lack thereof).

We stress about those things we can control and those things we cannot. Stress, it seems, is a natural part of human life—but it doesn’t have to run your life. It doesn’t need to be enduring. We don’t have to just sit back and take it.

When you feel stress creeping into your life, there are steps you can take to come back to normal, to equilibrium, to peace. And they can be affordable, too! (Because getting a massage once a week isn’t always the most cost-effective solution!).

How to Calm Down (5 Free Ideas!)

1. Socialize Mindfully

Depending on your nature (extroverted, introverted, or somewhere in between), socializing can cause or reduce stress to varying degrees. But most agree that spending time with the right people is an energizing, rejuvenating experience.

If you fill your time and your mind with the company and conversation of people who nourish rather than drain you, you’re likely to feel better after seeing them. So take a careful look at your calendar and really consider what you’re saying “yes” to when you accept that next dinner invite.

2. Visualize Frequently

Visualization is a powerful process. When in a state of stress, try visualizing the way you’d rather feel: Perhaps you’d like to feel free, empowered, compassionate, peaceful? Visualize the state you desire, and watch as your mind and body begin to move into that state now.

Of course, visualizing won’t erase that looming deadline or bring your soulmate to your doorstep (or maybe it will, who knows?), but it will change your state—mentally, physically, emotionally—today so that you can start experiencing the feelings you’d rather have instead.

3. Breathe Deeply

It always comes back to the breath, doesn’t it? Your breath is your saving grace—literally. It keeps you alive!

But so often we restrict it, even if unconsciously. When we’re stressed, nervous or anxious, we hold our breath or breathe in short, shallow bursts. Make a mental note to yourself to breathe when you find yourself feeling stressed. Stop what you’re doing and breathe deeply—in through your nose, out through your mouth—for as long as you need to.

Not only will you find that your heart rate slows and the chatter of your mind tends to cease, you’ll also likely find greater clarity around whatever was vexing you and a newfound motivation to solve your stressors.

4. Exercise Daily

Without movement, stress lingers in the body. It hangs around far longer than it needs to—unless you take the (physical) steps to clear it out of your body.

The next time you’re stressed, try going for a run, doing some yoga, signing up for a spin class or simply taking a walk around the block. When you get your body moving, the stress can move through you, too.

Even better, make a daily habit of exercise so that stress never has the opportunity to stick around longer than necessary.

5. Bathe Indulgently

And when all else fails (though I promise the tips above won’t!), treat yourself. When the stress won’t abate, allow yourself the time and space to luxuriate.

You don’t need to head to the fanciest spa—though you’re welcome to! You can create a stress-free, relaxed, indulgent experience right from the comfort of your own bathtub. Water is healing and restorative, too. Just by spending some time submerged in the bath, you’ll come out feeling cleaner and fresher in body, mind, and spirit.

What is your favorite way to destress (for free)? Share your tips with us in the comments below!

• You say you’re ready for love, but you’re only attracted to emotionally unavailable men.
• You want a better work-life balance, but you insist you need to work longer hours to advance your career.
• You want to have a healthier relationship to your body, but you can’t give up the excessive cocktails.

As much as you claim to know what you want, you’re “stuck” in a frustrating cycle of bad habits that not only keep you from reaching your goals — but creates the same feelings of deep dissatisfaction and lack over and over again.

Your behaviors — and those painful cycles — are a result of your unconscious patterns and conditioning; those scarcity minded scripts playing in the background of your mind that are clearly running your life!

Whether you want to attract an available new love interest or balance a successful career with a fulfilling life or simply want to gain more self-confidence, you have to get clear on (and break) the low-vibe energy patterns running behind the scenes of your life and practice making different, more empowering choices.

It can be a life-changing relief to finally discover the connection between the actions you’re taking and the results you’re getting in life. Once that connection is revealed, you’re back in charge — you can make conscious choices and take deliberate action to break the disappointing cycle you’re in and start living in a way that best serves you.

Of course, becoming aware of your dis-empowering scripts and actions — then making the choice to not repeat them any longer — is only part of your healing and transformation.

If you want to break a frustrating cycle, you have to actually STOP doing the exact same thing (taking the same action) while expecting different results.

You have to try something new, in alignment with your new intentions and a different choice.

Easier said than done, you say? Trust me — it’s not that hard to do.

How to Break Bad Habits with Meaningful Rituals

There are many ways to “practice” your new choice on a daily basis: You could meditate on your intention every morning, you might post written notes of your intention around your home, you could set a phone alarm to go off throughout the day reminding you of your heart’s desire.

And you could kick it all off with a ritual — a heart-centering, meaningful ceremony to acknowledge the cycle you’ve broken and honor your fresh outlook on a previously difficult situation.

You don’t need to be religious or New Age or woo-woo to participate in a ritual, I promise:

:: Your ritual could be as simple as writing down what you are ready to let go of and burning it in the kitchen sink.

:: Your ritual could be holding specific crystals while repeating your soul’s secret prayers and intentions over and over again.

:: Your ritual could be the lighting of a single candle on Sunday evenings and saying to yourself: “This is the week that I…….”

All you need is to be open to the transformation, and committed to breaking your bad habits.

Now, do you have to have a ritual? Of course not. You can simply make an internal choice to do things differently, practice a new way of living, and be done with it.

But ritual allows you the possibility of connecting with the soul and heart of all things . . . and of all life. The outcome can’t be seen only measured by the sensation of a nourished heart.

And what outcome could be better than that?

Try This Guided Ritual to Create New Habits & Break Old Patterns

You will need: 15-20 minutes, a candle, matches, and a quiet space.

1| Write a List: List your conditioning, your stories, your patterns, your beliefs — whatever you choose to release, because it’s no longer necessary or no longer yours to hold.

2| Ask Yourself: What if any patterns am I ready to release from my life?

3| Make a Statement: Be clear about the cycle you’re breaking and acknowledge the beliefs and behaviors that will support your new choice. You might say:

“I am willing to lower my guard and risk being vulnerable in love. I will stop withholding myself in relationship for fear that he might leave if he sees the true ‘messy’ me. I deeply believe the unfiltered me is lovable and immensely desirable. Let the lighting of this candle give me the strength, courage, and compassion to claim my potency and be fully transparent in love.”

OR

“I must be willing to give up controlling and scheming everything and everyone, even though that leaves me vulnerable and I risk not getting what I think I want. I am willing to be courageous and stop relying on manipulation and my own strength to achieve. I now understand that the Universe is hard at work for me, loving me and serving me. Let the lighting of this candle give me the faith, stability, and wisdom to relinquish (at least some) control and allow myself to fall back into the flow of life — to be held, supported, and given to generously while growing my capacity to trust life and delight in the unexpected just around the corner!”

Ritual is an external reflection of something sacred that is occurring deep within. It marks a transition that has happened, is happening, or that you would like to invite more fully into your experience.

Your cycles don’t have to be vicious, and they don’t have to keep you stuck. Are you ready to break the cycle and honor your commitment with a ritual?

It’s time to mark the end of your cycle and the beginning of a brand new, better way of life.

You’re seriously going to start hunting for a better, more fulfilling job.

Sound familiar? (Me, too.)
We all love a fresh start.

It’s invigorating to brush off the cobwebs and take steps towards a new life.

But a few weeks in, you might find yourself dragging your feet and falling back into your old habits of coffee and Netflix and complaining about your job while doing zip about it.

If this is you, don’t beat yourself up. You’re only human! But before you embark on another big, exciting set of changes, take a moment to step back, breeeeeathe, and think – deeply – about the hows and whys of the changes you’re making.

Are you attempting changes that aren’t appropriate or feasible? Trying to give up dairy for the rest of your natural life? Never, ever allowing a drop of alcohol to pass your lips from here on out? Are you creating unattainable, eventually heartbreaking goals for yourself?

Instead, reflect on what would bring you abundance + greater happiness.
Think analytically about the changes you want to make and how you can position yourself so success feels sustainable and serves the greater good. Think about what you really want and how you can pursue those changes in a way that generates more of the feelings you want to experience.

Here are seven loving, doable ways to make new habits stick.

1. Decide that you’re worth it!
Make the decision that you’d like things to change and that you’re worth the investment. Take an official stance that you will set aside the necessary time, energy, and funds to improve your spiritual, physical, and emotional health.

2. Ask yourself why
Need motivation for making changes? Unearth the ‘why’ behind these new habits and you’re more likely to stay committed. You’re more likely to take the steps needed to bring about the change you seek. Do you want to get healthy so you have more energy for your kids? Or so you’ll feel sexier for your partner? Do you want a new job because you want a shorter commute (and a more time for your hobbies)?  Or because you’re ready for a new challenge?

3. Be flexible
Put systems in place to help you succeed – lay out your gym clothes the night before, set alarms on your iphone, stock your fridge with healthy snacks. But also know that things will change and you’ll have to go with the flow. And that’s OK; you’re prepared. You’ll get back to your new routine ASAP.

I like using the phrase “more often than not” with my clients. We work towards sticking to the good habits and routines “more often than not.” This leaves psychological space for the ebb + flow and realities of life. We’re all less likely to beat ourselves up for missing that workout because we woke up late.

4. Silence the negative chatter
Speaking of beating ourselves up,your ego will work overtime to criticize you – it’s just trying to protect you! Be grateful for the ego’s role in your life, but evaluate the validity of those thoughts and beliefs. Practice replacing the negative, judging thoughts with empowering thoughts.

Really celebrate your accomplishments and commitment to you new goals. When you land five job interviews, buy a bottle of champagne. When you’ve exercised regularly for a month, get a nice pedicure.

5. Tell people
You’re more likely to stick to a new habit when you involve other people in this new part of your life. Tell your friends you’re training for a marathon and see if anyone wants to join you. Announce that you’re considering graduate school and ask your M.A. friends if they have any advice. When we tell people about the changes we’re making, they’ll hold us accountable, and we’ll be more likely to stick with ‘em.

6. Stay present
Change is a very, very long process. If you start running today it’ll be months before you have those long, lean legs you’re craving. If you start looking at M.B.A. programs today, it’ll be years before you graduate. And that’s okay!

Don’t spend today worrying about how you’re going to maintain these new habits in the long run. You can only work with the now. You only have control over this moment. Did you run this morning? Then you’re doing great.

7. Set realistic goals.
Think about the things you’d like to add to your life, not just the outcomes of these changes. Rather than thinking about your marathon medal, think about how much more energy you’ll have, your sense of accomplishment, how good it will feel to start your day with exercise.

Change takes practice. It happens in small steps. Take time celebrate when a new habit becomes part of your daily life.

Celebrate the small things. They lead to big things